Beamed directly into your brain by: The Thinker
The author writes:
Ah, the stately home of Plimsthorpe Hall, former residence of the late Major Garth Theodore Wilmington IV, now abandoned and presumably haunted. According to the tales, the Major's ghost is an angry, vengeful spirit, which is why in order to liven things up a bit, local paranormal enthusiast Tony Braseby, has formed a "ghost hunting" expedition comprised of: himself, Lenny, Gwenyth, Professor Wilmington*, a professional medium**, Albert and his brother-in-law Steve, and a serial arsonist who just recently escaped from prison***.
* One of the Major's decendants and technically the current owner of the property, if only they could locate the deeds, and the funds for a good lawyer.
** Actually a homeless alcoholic who was sobered up, given a good bath and dressed up in a fine suit. No idea who gave him any of those items.
*** But don't tell the rest of the group that! The guy also has a thing for paint strippers and turpentine. Say, doesn't the house have a rather prominent portrait of the late Major hanging over the fireplace in the main drawing room, a portrait that he was particularly fond off...? Just mentioning it.