Translated from ancient Sumerian by: The Thinker
The author writes:
If anything should happen to me, then I bequeath my entire vinyl record collection to the bloke who cleans the Men's Toilets at the local shopping centre, whilst all of my Postcard plot notes are to go to the first literate chaffinch that flies into my garden. Now if you'll excuse me I need to chat with the lion-headed, tutu wearing, bolero dancing giraffe on the roof of my house. Oh, and what the hell is in my tea?!