Pieced together from ancient legends by: The Thinker
The author writes:
Expect updates to be slightly erratic for the next couple of weeks as we try to figure out the combination to the safe containing all the printer ink and the spare hard drives. It seems the only person who knew the code to the thing was Greg, our former silencer/tea-lady/gutter attendant/whipping boy, whom we fired quite a while ago. Oh by the way, Greg, if you're reading this, you're still not getting your old job back.