Translated from ancient Sumerian by: The Thinker
The author writes:
For those wondering about the phyisical security of our servers, they are currently situated in an underground bunker whose location is classified (i.e. we've forgotten where they are), which is in turn sealed by an impenetrable lock (i.e. we've lost the keys), and surrounded by a team of elite guards (i.e. the local chapter of the Hell's Angels moved in and wouldn't let us back onto the site).