Pieced together from ancient legends by: bill33
The author writes:
Some people were wondering what song plays when you hover over the lesbian haberdasher's profile in panel 9. I made it all by myself! It comes from my indie band's newest album, Tides of Washing the Waves for Feelings Away, which you can purchase in the Postcard store (you expect me to have the time for setting up another website?) for $7.99 and a stick of gum. For a 30-minute preview of that song's music video, click here! For an additional $7999.99 I will gladly allow you to have it for personal use, so long as it does not infringe upon the attached EULA and you don't use it in any works involving cows or a character saying "moo." Did I mention I wrote the EULA myself? I called my Greg (who happens to be the drummer in my indie band), he was quite proud of me, by which I mean he didn't hang up the phone the wrong way and start screaming. Although lately he's learned to take out his anger in more productive ways, so whenever I call him he usually goes into the basement and kicks around an official signed crate with my face on it, obtainable in the Postcard store, then comes back up after he takes his vitamins. He didn't even kick a crate when I called him though, he just kicked an official signed BARREL with my face on it, also on the Postcard store, and I think his act of barrel-kicking symbolizes some kind of internal calmness or weakness. Hopefully not weakness though, I talked to his therapist (who happens to be the bassist in my indie band) and it seems he's gradually becoming insecure with his "hippy punk-ass" job. No, our bassist's not insecure with his job, Greg is. With Greg's job. Even if he leaves I can just replace him with an official signed drum machine, from the Postcard store. For some reason he's still angry I put that up on the store, tells me I'm hinting towards something. Clearly I'm not. I would know that, I didn't even put my face on it. Speaking of my face - no, not our band's debut album My Face is Filled with Emotion Energy and Doodles - which is available on the Postcard store, by the way - I mean my physical face, you know, the face I have on my earlier mentioned official signed crates and barrels - still available on the Postcard store - I got this new shaving cream from this guy I met in a dark alley last night. I invited that guy to be our simultaneous keyboard/harmonica player, a position which is still up for grabs, but he declined. Anyways, back to the shaving cream. Greg keeps telling me I should snort it, and his therapist keeps telling me I should force Greg to snort it. And since I haven't quite decided whether it should go on my face or up someone's nose, I've decided to let the community vote on what we should do with it, but only the parts of the community that have bought all of my band's albums and have bought our lesbian haberdasher Halloween costume - it's coming soon, folks, get ready! And don't worry, she's not evil - or maybe she is. So make sure to vote on the forums here, and please ignore any random errors the site throws at you. Nothing's wrong with it, the forum software is just being all pushy and strict and telling us how I'm supposed to design a website, a website I'm supposed to be designing myself. I've tried contacting the guys who made the forum software and explaining to them I'm not "traditional," but they've stopped accepting my calls for some reason. I'm calling them right now to figure out why!