Decoded from alien signals by: bill33
The author writes:
Sad thing is that Margaret never finished her custard pie, and now she never will!
EDIT: I guess I didn't explain it clearly enough. Billiam made a time machine, but due to his low budget ($5000 in pocket change) it could only transport his consciousness back in time. Then he had to share his consciousness with his past body, and past him only let him control his right hand due to them both being total Jerkasses.
Past Billiam proceeded to lie to everyone that his right hand was being possessed by an evil spirit. That hand was cut off during his next visit to the doctor. Then Billiam was nothing but a voice in his past self's head. He screamed all day for some control, any control at all. This eventually drove Past Billiam insane and got him locked up in a loony bin. Every now and then, however, Billiam is bestowed power over his left hand, which he uses to write harmful comments over the Internet.
Also, Margaret tripped while she was carrying the pie and it ended up in her face. Funny, right?