Retrieved from racial memory patterns by: Urlance Woolsbane
The author writes:
Novel and macabre usages aside, air-fresheners really are a boon to mankind. One can only pity our ancestors, lacking as they did the joy of bacon-scented automobiles.
To say that the fate of Eustace the Compognathus went down poorly with the readers would be an understatement. To wit, a small sampling of fan-reactions:
"Blech! To think I was looking forward to today's comic! That was so very tasteless, so utterly unpleasant, that I had to go lie down again. Nor did oblivion offer any peace. Your obscene perversion of a (once) wonderful strip haunted my very dreams! My neighbors thought I was dying! You've lost yourself a reader, buster! No amount of brilliance could possibly make up for that."
"For months, I'd speculated excitedly with my fellow forum-dwellers on the significance of the goat-faced dulcimer-motif. We were prepared for anything... save... well, I won't dignify it by calling it a "twist." If this is what the future holds, you can count me out."
"Nooooooo! BENTHAM! WHY WHY HWY You, sir, are an awful person! Even my cat is upset with you!"
"That... wasn't called for. I've got a lot to say about this development, but you won't hear any of it, at least not today. I need something to restore my faith in humanity. If anyone wants me, I'll be over on 4Chan."
"Wait, when did an ignoramus take over this comic? Today's strip makes no sense! We long ago established that Yurtanswan's Theory of Peculiar Relativity does not apply in Angledownside. I'm at a loss for words. An utter betrayal."
Well, you know what, dearest readers? Sometimes life isn't nice or healthy. Sometimes life doesn't make sense! Get over it! I am, above all, an artist. You can complain all you want, I'm not changing a line of dialogue, nor a drop of ink. If you don't like where this comic is headed, too bad. This is but the tip of the iceberg. And she's a big one, the sort that sinks Titanics without batting an eyelid.
As for all those who insisted that "STREPHON THE STAPLEFOX CAN'T DIE!!!!!!!!?" Whoa doggy, are you in for it!