Denying any responsibility for this is: aliyaist
The author writes:
And it's all because, way back when, he spilled some juice on the floor of the living room.
Imagine if you wanted to prevent all of this from happening. All you'd need to do is go back in time a decade and a half with a roll of paper towels. Could you imagine?
EDIT: ...wow. I'd completely forgotten I wrote this annotation five years ago when I created the character of Marcus. The paper towel plot must have just been sitting in the back of my head waiting all of this time!