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No. 4961: Garfield the Fat Cat

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Garfield the Fat Cat

First | Previous | 2022-12-18 | Next | Latest

Permanent URL: https://mezzacotta.net/garfield/?comic=4961

Strip by: Nyperold

Jon {through Hondo}: Hi, Garfield! You're sure fat! Ha-ha-ha!
Caption: Fat
Garfield: We cats are very independent
Caption: Cat
Garfield: We cats like to sit in high places. It reinforces our superiority
Caption: Sat
{Odie walks by in a brown hat, white shirt, blue jacket, purple tie with black polka dots, blue pants, and brown shoes as Garfield, himself wearing a green sweater with purple trim and a black jagged line, looks on in amusement}
Caption: Hat
Garfield: He obviously has disgustingly, slovenly, sloppy fat confused with "big-boned"
Caption: Fat
Brenda: Is Garfield a pig?
Jon: He's a cat
Caption: Fat
Jon: Now I wouldn't say you're fat, Garfield...
Caption: Fat
Garfield {walking away}: That should hold you cat fans for a while
Caption: Cat
Garfield: Never be condescending to a cat
Caption: Cat
{The "Caped Avenger", a.k.a. Garfield, kicks the smaller of two cats}
Garfield: Beat it, brute
Caption: Cat
{Garfield sits on a freshly-torn-up new sofa}
Garfield: Much better
Caption: Sat
Garfield: I'm sitting on it
Caption: Sat
{Garfield sits on scrambled eggs}
Garfield: When my feet get cold
Caption: Sat
{Lyman, clad in a pink-and-black-checkered hat with light green trim and brim, a salmon turtleneck, a light blue jacket with black stripes, and yellow pants with black polka dots, enters the room where Jon, wearing black slacks and holding a lavender shirt and a light blue shirt, is, as Garfield looks on}
Lyman: What can I do for you?
Jon: Forget it
Garfield: Beau Brummel lives
Caption: Hat
Jon: Tell me that's not a traffic cop's hat you're wearing, Garfield
Garfield: Okay, it's not a traffic cop's hat
{It is}
Caption: Hat
{Jon watches a spider in a hard hat skitter by}
Spider: Heh heh heh
Caption: Hat
{Garfield hits a glass with a fork and a bowl with a spoon}
Garfield: Be honest, Pooky. Do you think I'm getting a little pudgy around the middle?
Caption: A fat cat
{Garfield is on an old lady's hat with its fake bird in his mouth}
Caption: sat on a hat
Narration: Ol' Fluffy got his clock cleaned by the even more legendary "Matt-the-Rat"
{Matt dribbles Fluffy}
Caption: saw a rat
{A fireplace. It has Garfield's, Odie's, and Jon's stockings hung from the mantle, all the same size, surprisingly, and a welcome mat at the base, the words facing it}
Caption: on the mat
{Garfield holds up a baseball bat}
Caption: got a bat
{Garfield watches as the gnat on the mirror flies off}
Caption: had a chat with a gnat
{Garfield pats Odie fairly hard as Jon looks on in passing}
Caption: that he'd pat
{Jon holds a plate with a turkey on it away from the vat of soapy water that Garfield has been baited into}
Garfield: Foul! Foul! No fair! Foul!
Caption: in a vat
{Garfield is flattened by a television. This wouldn't have happened if the screen were flat, instead}
Garfield: That hurt me more than it did him
Caption: that was flat
{Garfield walks around wearing sunglasses}
Caption: oh yeah!
{Liz glares mildly at Jon}
Garfield: Nothing like a snappy comeback to save face
{Garfield, having seen Jon wear the same kind of sunglasses, discards them and walks off}
Caption: Oh... yeah
Registrar: I'm sorry. We don't have a "fat" division
{Jon restrains Garfield}
Garfield: Let me at him!
Caption: Sorry about that
{The discount tent has shrunk down to where it only covers Garfield's legs and most of his arms and torso. Jon is also stuck underneath, and faring worse}
Garfield: Such a deal
Caption: Small
Jon: Oh, boy, at last. College Football Season
Caption: Ball
Garfield: The Caped Avenger sees a large evil person he must destroy in the name of good, because the Caped Avenger isn't a chicken
{Meaning Jon, who isn't particularly tall for an adult human, but who towers over Garfield}
Caption: Tall
{Garfield draws a dog on a wall next to his other drawings, representative of the dogs he's punted. Oddly, he seems to have only punted dogs that vaguely resemble Odie}
Caption: Wall
{Nermal sits by Odie, mimicking him while Garfield facepaws}
Garfield: Oh, Nermal. Nermal, Nermal, Nermal
Caption: Small
{Garfield withdraws Pooky from the basin, and finds that he's shrunk}
Caption: Small
Garfield: This is my pet ant, Lyle. He's cute, quiet, and industrious
Caption: Small
{Jon throws a ball}
Jon: Okay, Garfield. Go fetch!
Caption: Ball
{Garfield plays with a ball of yarn}
Caption: Ball
{Gumballs fall}
Caption: Ball
{Garfield turns his head, and is disturbed to see that the dog he's threatening with claws is actually rather tall compared to him}
Garfield: ...ankles off
Caption: Tall
In-panel Caption: Cat's Point of View
{A door, viewed from a low angle}
Caption: Tall
{Jon opens the door. Garfield walks in on a stack of mud. Jon is terrified by this}
Caption: Tall
{Garfield stands beside a wall that has been papered to look like his torso from the side. Jon will surely regret his choice}
Garfield: I like it
Caption: Wall
Jon: Is it windy out, Garfield?
{Garfield is plastered against the wall by the wind}
Garfield: Not so you'd notice
Caption: Wall
{Garfield is flattened by a chunk of outer wall}
Caption: Wall
{Garfield hits the glass with the fork, the bowl with the spoon, and the handled bowl with the fork}
{Odie's head follows the ball that has just gone under him}
Caption: See the small ball
{Garfield holds a letter and stands on a "fence" that is now shown to be about a foot thick}
Garfield: Things aren't always as they seem
Caption: on the tall wall
{Garfield pushes a potted plant off of a windowsill}
Caption: see it fall
{Garfield approaches a corner, around which a large mouse is hiding}
Garfield: It beats me
Caption: in a hall
{Garfield comes to breakfast without getting his lazy bones out of bed}
Caption: see it crawl
Garfield: It just wouldn't be Garfield to leave food
Caption: give its all
{Jon is parked at his parents' home. Garfield seems indifferent to be there, at best}
Jon: Hey, everyone! We're here!
Caption: its call, "Hi, y'all!"
{Garfield has been shaping soap suds for the purpose of doing impressions}
Jon: Quit dawdling, Garfield
Garfield: How dare you speak that way to the president of the United States
Caption: see it stall
{Grandma is seated upon her motorcycle, which is parked on the knocked-in front door of Jon's parents' home. Jon, Doc Boy, their father, their mother, and Odie face her, smiling, as Garfield faces us, also smiling}
Grandma: Hiya, sweeties!
Jon, Doc Boy, their father, and their mother: Grandma!
Garfield: Now it's Christmas
Caption: wear a shawl
{Garfield is lying down, but with his head off the ledge. He raises a pawfinger in realization}
Garfield: Oh, yeah!
Caption: oh yeah!
{Jon walks Garfield away from four women. One, sitting on the ground to a bench, recovers from being clotheslined by Garfield's leash, two others glare at Jon for walking his cat on said leash, while the last, standing, looks with concern at her dog who's been traumatized by Garfield}
Jon {thinking}: Back to the drawing board
{Garfield walks away from his dish, having remembered why it's empty}
Garfield: Oh, yeah
Caption: Oh, yeah
{Garfield trudges to bed as Jon watches}
Garfield: Sigh... A cat's work is never done
{Garfield has a sunburned belly, and he's just now noticing}
Garfield: Snort, uh-oh!
Caption: Red
Jon: You're going to be declawed and that's that. Now get your head out of the oven!
Caption: Head
Jon: I'm putting you on a diet, Garfield... here's your dinner
Caption: Fed
{Ten perfectly-cut slices of bread are on the table while Garfield looks pleased with himself. Hope his claws were clean!}
Jon: Never mind.
Caption: Bread
Garfield: Our eyes turn blood red...
Caption: Red
{Jon serves Garfield a red, lumpy substance}
Jon: Here you go, Garfield
Garfield {disappointed}: Table scraps!
Caption: Red
{Garfield stands up in bed as he looks triumphantly at the mysterious pie-er who threw a pie at a crude representation of a cat's head, unaware that another pie is about to hit him from behind}
Garfield: FOOLED YOU!
Caption: Red
{Garfield's head is larger than the usual proportion}
Caption: Head
{Garfield lands on Jon's head, then Odie's, before bouncing to the ground}
Caption: Head
{From right to left, Garfield, Odie, and Lyman silently beg Jon for his food}
Caption: Head
{Jon gives Garfield a dish of...}
Garfield: CAT FOOD!
Caption: Fed
{Garfield peruses the side of a box of cat food}
Garfield: Hmmmm
Caption: Fed
{Garfield eats his tuna and liver surprise}
Garfield: The sausage and hash browns are delicious. But I do believe the eggs are a bit overdone
Caption: Fed
{The toaster ejects two slices of lightly-toasted bread. A swing and a miss! Garfield's paw completely fails to catch the foodstuff}
Caption: Bread
{Garfield, holding a poultry leg, trips on a loaf of bread and goes flying}
Caption: Bread
{Garfield has a bowl on his head as a helmet and is holding bread as though it were a rifle}
Garfield: No sweat, sarge, I'll take that machine gun nest out with my trusty bazooka here
Caption: Bread
{Garfield hits a glass and a cup with a fork and a bowl and Odie with a spoon}
{Garfield's head is covered in catsup, and you can't get much redder than that}
Garfield: Cats can also be very stupid
Caption: See the red head
{Garfield munches two slices of toast at once while lying in bed}
Jon: Breakfast in bed, Garfield?
Garfield: Sloth is the mother of invention
Caption: bein' fed bread
{Jon and Garfield are on a sled, both covered in snow, except their eyes, Jon's mouth, and somehow, his hat. Jon appears to be excited, while Garfield seems more annoyed}
Jon: That was some sled ride, huh, Garfield
Caption: on his sled
{Garfield lays in bed, his eyes droopy and his forelegs hanging over the sides}
Garfield: Ho boy, I'm so tired my limbs feel like lead. It's going to be tough getting up this morning
Caption: made of lead
Jon: She's one cute chicky-boo. I'd marry her in a second
Caption: as he sped to be wed
{Garfield chases Odie past Lyman and Jon}
Caption: but he fled instead
{Jon drapes himself across the recliner while Garfield lies on his back beside it}
Jon: I'm more bored than you are
Garfield: Are not!
Caption: out ahead
{Garfield, Ed the cat raised by squirrels, and an actual squirrel are standing on a tree limb}
Ed: Garfield, I'd like you to meet my twin brother, Ted
Caption: up to Ted
Garfield: This is the life. I don't think I'll ever get out of bed again
Caption: in his bed
TV: Arf! Arf!
Garfield: He says he's hungry
Caption: and he said...
{Garfield grabs Irma by the neck and glares}
Jon: Hey, Garfield! We're going to the farm today!
Garfield: Well, shut my mouth and paint me red!
Caption: Red
{Garfield's head is stuck in a milk bottle. Jon turns his head to look}
Caption: head
{Garfield eats his vitamin-enriched lasagna}
Garfield: Even a temple needs his vitamin C
Caption: fed
{Garfield and Jon are standing by a table with a lumpy tablecloth. Unbeknownst to Jon, but knownst to Garfield and us, the lump is Odie. Garfield hands a baguette to Jon and indicates the lump with a thumb}
Garfield: Jon, there's a lump in the tablecloth. Flatten it out with this French bread
Caption: bread
{Nermal licks Odie}
Caption: Small
{Garfield spits out a tennis ball}
SFX: Ptooey!
Caption: ball
{Garfield is wearing a cat-sized corset which has been drawn tight, pushing his fat away from his middle}
Garfield: Now I'm too tall
Caption: tall
{Garfield stands by a wall with a hole the shape of Odie}
Garfield: I love toys that don't need batteries
Caption: wall
Jon: Garfield, you're getting too fat
Caption: Fat
{The Caped Avenger, a.k.a. Garfield, is startled to find the large cat from the 28th on his doorstep}
Caption: cat
{Garfield is sitting on the recliner while Jon gets the hassock}
Jon: It's amazing how we've grown to understand one another
Caption: sat
Jon: Guess where we're going, Garfield?
Garfield: To a hayseed convention?
Caption: hat
{It's raining. Garfield and Odie are in the car as Jon holds the trunk lid in preparation to close it}
Jon: That's it! Let's go!
Caption: And that's that!
{Lyman dashes off past Jon}
Caption: SCAT!!!

The author writes:

Here's a dose of Sesame Street nostalgia. This clip first aired before I was born. (It repeats after a point, but it has the best audio quality I could find and wasn't recorded on a camera being held in something as unstable as one's hand. As a bonus, it identifies the voices, which the original didn't do.)*

Grandma may actually be wearing a scarf, not a shawl. Also, Jon's greeting is "Hey, everyone!", and they're all in Indiana, so not likely to say "Hi, y'all!". But whatever. This was a long time in the making, and responsible for exposing me to the strips that turned into a lot of my later submissions, both published and not-yet-published. I'm done making this strip.

*[The link originally supplied by Nyperold was delisted between submission and publication; these parenthetical statements do not necessarily apply to the replacement link. -Ed]

Original strips: 1978-06-22, 1978-06-26, 1978-07-17, 1978-07-20, 1978-08-16, 1978-08-17, 1978-09-02, 1978-09-16, 1978-09-17, 1978-09-21, 1978-09-23, 1978-10-17, 1978-10-29, 1978-11-03, 1978-11-04, 1978-11-12, 1978-11-22, 1978-11-23, 1979-01-06, 1979-01-11, 1979-01-17, 1979-01-29, 1979-01-30, 1979-02-03, 1979-02-08, 1979-02-21, 1979-02-25, 1979-03-28, 1979-03-29, 1979-03-31, 1979-04-30, 1979-05-07, 1979-05-12, 1979-05-13, 1979-05-22, 1979-05-24, 1979-06-03, 1979-07-21, 1979-07-24, 1979-08-08, 1979-08-26, 1979-08-31, 1979-09-05, 1979-10-01, 1979-10-18, 1979-11-21, 1980-01-03, 1980-01-09, 1980-03-17, 1980-04-01, 1980-06-21, 1980-06-23, 1980-11-04, 1980-12-28, 1981-05-11, 1981-05-29, 1981-09-20, 1982-02-21, 1982-05-03, 1982-05-30, 1982-06-03, 1982-07-06, 1982-09-12, 1982-10-11, 1982-10-21, 1984-03-08, 1985-03-27, 1985-07-04, 1985-11-10, 1986-08-17, 1987-03-02, 1987-12-16, 1988-12-06, 1989-02-02, 1989-05-14, 1989-05-23, 1989-11-06, 1990-09-19, 1990-09-22, 1990-10-19, 1991-04-11, 1993-01-18, 1993-12-25, 1997-02-07, 2005-03-21, 2005-04-24, 2007-02-20, 2010-11-01.