Permanent URL: https://mezzacotta.net/garfield/?comic=1546
Strip by: Cody
Jon: Check out this neat little webcomic I found.
Garfield: What is this?
Jon: It's called Square Root of Minus Garfield.
Garfield: Who's responsible for this... this... eldritch abomination?
Garfield: I prefer the real Garfield comic strips. I feel them to be a work of genius, a work of integrity. I think that they are the only true kind of comic strips in the world. I believe, nay, I am part of a fandom of great importance. They are a work of art of such genius showing the relationship between a man and his cat. These "lieful" comics are an inferior work with no dignity. I will not rest until all parody sites (save Garfield Minus Garfield, I am a fan of it, too, for I feel much the same about it, but that is for another blissful day) of the original Garfield comic strip are at rest in their eternal graves of darkness. These... these... insignificant specks of dust flowing about on this thing called the "Internet." All these people behind these Square Root of Minus Garfield are of great shame of their work. They do not know what a great and important comic strip that Garfield really is. What it stands for, what it breathes on, what it lives for. It is truly a masterpiece of epic proportions much too great for mortal words spoken. I simply will not live with this mockery of all things good and evil.
Jon: I hate fan dumb.
The author writes:
I will now write an annotation for a webcomic of epic proportions. This webcomic is indeed a masterful work of art. I think it captures the very essense of a struggle between all mankind. In order to understand this work of complexity, you must understand the delicate balance of nature. The mere existence of struggles in all of mankind. One may be interested in doing things one way, and one may be interested in doing things another. After that, they see a flaw in each other's ideas and try to turn their thinking patterns around in an opposite direction. It is simply a must that one does not interfere with the other. When one hears one's idea of something and they had something else inside their mind, it is important that they not argue their point. They must think before they act. The opposite way of doing this simple task has been the basis for all wars in all history. It is on this ground that I have built this webcomic that you are sitting there reading (probably wondering when I'm going to end, o simple-minded one). I believe this webcomic to be probably the greatest of them all and that all others are simply unworthy to be read. That they have no point or intended emotion behind their work. They are simply overrated in the minds of men. They have no dignity in and of themselves. They are, simply put, distasteful, immoral, and most of all, putrid. They stand on the fine line of stupidity and mockery of everything that man has been known for throughout the inevitable process called "time." I will not rest until all webcomics that have ever been made on both sides of the Pacific (other than this one) are banned from the country and the entire world.
Bet you weren't expecting any of that were you?