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No. 633: The First Week

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The First Week

First | Previous | 2022-08-27 | Next | Latest

Permanent URL: https://mezzacotta.net/itoons/?comic=633

Strip by: Mr. Skullhead

Strip #1:
Pig: What are you watching?
Rat: The bullfighting channel...nothing but bullfighting 24 hours a day.
Pig: That's a lot of bull.
{Cut to Pig at the brick wall, now beat up.}
Pig: You never know what's gonna set that guy off.

Strip #2:
{Rat and Pig are at the beach. Rat is wearing sunglasses.}
Pig: Is the sun too bright for your eyes?
Rat: Sunglasses aren't for the sun, you dumb pig. They tell people you're someone who counts...a big shot....
{Cut to Pig somewhere else on the beach, wearing sunglasses.}
Man: Look, honey...a poor blind pig.
Woman: Here's a dime, li'l pig...

Strip #3:
Pig: There's a guy at the door who wants to sell us some life insurance.
Rat: Fine.... tell him we'll buy a million dollar policy on your life, but make sure I can still collect if they pin the rap on me.
Pig {to salesman}: No, thanks.

Strip #4:
Pig: Will we still be friends when we're real old?
Rat: No.
Pig: Why not?
Rat: Because by that time, I will be very famous and will have left you far behind.
Pig: You mean....I'll be....Garfunkeled?
Rat: Yes, and I will not be your bridge over troubled waters.

Strip #5:
Pig: What are you doing?
Rat: Listing my top ten priorities in life.
Pig: What are they?
Rat: "No. 1......be rich. No. 2.....be famous"....that's where I got stuck.

Strip #6:
Pig: Why do we always refer to a dead person as "the late so-and-so"?
Rat: Because dead people never show up on time for anything.
Pig: You know a lot.

Strip #7:
Pig: I spent five hours searching for my car in the mall parking lot today because I forgot where I parked it.
Rat: Again?.....Didn't I tell you how to avoid that?
Pig: Yeah...I did everything you said. The moment I parked, I wrote the section I was parked in on a little piece of paper. Then I put the paper in a safe place, just like you said.
Rat: Where'd you put it?
Pig: In the glove compartment.
{Rat has left. Pig does not notice.}
Pig: Nothing personal, but I don't think your tip saves a whole lot of time.

The author writes:

Because the first week of Pearls Before Swine strips isn't available on GoComics (and don't appear to be anywhere else on the internet, for that matter), I decided to scan them directly off of my copy of Sgt. Piggy's Lonely Hearts Club Comic and submit them here so that anyone can use them for their iToons strips.

Original Pearls Before Swine strips: 2001-12-31, 2002-01-01, 2002-01-02, 2002-01-03, 2002-01-04, 2002-01-05, 2002-01-06.