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No. 630: Rat and Pig Collaborate

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Rat and Pig Collaborate

First | Previous | 2022-08-18 | Next | Latest

Permanent URL: https://mezzacotta.net/itoons/?comic=630

Strip by: Sloublues

Dear Reader: Due to supply chain issues, there will be no jokes in today's comic, as all of our jokes are currently stuck in shipping containers overseas. Please feel free to fill in your own. Thanks for your patience.

Rat: So, Stephan decided to let the readers write the strip today.
Pig: Sounds like fun.
Rat: Yeah, but you know most people are just gonna write words like CENSORED or CENSORED.
Pig: Or draw CENSOREDes all over.
Rat: They won't even be clever about it.
Pig: Ooh, what if we write it ourselves?
Rat: I tried that when I held the strip hostage. Spent too much time mocking Garfield, too little talking about how awesome I am.
Pig: Mistakes were made.

{Same art.}
Rat: Fine. What do we write about?
Pig: We haven't done beer in a while.
Rat: I don't actually feel like getting wasted right now.
Pig: We could discuss the molecular structure of alcohols.
Rat: Those are long words, coming from you. Let's stick to beer bottles.
Pig: Hey, beer and bottles both start with B! That's funny!
Rat: Aaand you're back in character. I'm not sure I like the reversion.
Pig: Beer bottles bake, uh, baby burritos. Wait, babies? Aww, now I'm sad.

{Same art.}
Rat: No alliteration. No strained puns, no current events. Let's do something different.
Pig: We're on iToons right now, we don't even have to be funny.
Rat: Yes, I've noticed.
Pig: Didn't you like my punchlines?
Rat: They went over like a lead balloon in a boiling Togo summer.
Pig: Hey, Togo is a funny word! Let's talk about Togo!
Rat: I know nothing about Togo and I refuse to do any research.
Pig: I don't have anything for this word bubble.

{Same art.}
Rat: There once was a woman from Togo
Pig: Who liked to play with a yo-yo
Rat: When she . . . no. Let's try haiku.
Pig: We have eight word bubbles to fill.
Rat: Better too many bubbles than too few.
Pig: I can help count as we go!
Rat: A title, one line per bubble, then I react, you're excited, I shoot you down, you're depressed again.
Pig: I thought you wanted to do something different.

{Same art. The poem is in a fancy script.}
Rat: "Haiku by Rat and Pig"
Pig: Sly green predator
Rat: Schemes to eat tasty neighbor
Pig: Hullo crocodile
Rat: Huh.
Pig: That's great! We did it!
Rat: It's terri . . . it's the worst thi . . . it's not awful. Maybe.
Pig: You really can't be positive, can you?

{Same art.}
Rat: I can't. I enjoy beer and misanthropy and that's about it. Even writing books is just a compulsion driving me.
Pig: You're missing out on so much.
Rat: It's how I'm written. I never feel like I'm missing out on anything.
Pig: Life can be good.
Rat: Sometimes you're happy, but I see what a moron you are and feel confirmed in my life choices.
Pig: Hooray, I'm being helpful!
Rat: It seems we're still being written by an idiot.
Pig: What's a zoidberg and why did I just imagine a pink Cthulhu with claws?

{Same art.}
Rat: If we want to change things up, we could be positive about other comics?
Pig: Sure. So . . . uh . . .
Rat: How about that Get Fuzzy?
Pig: Haha, those reruns sure are . . . I don't get the jokes actually.
Rat: Okay. Pickles is cute.
Pig: I do like some crunchy pickles!
Rat: We're getting nowhere.
Pig: Do you like them cut hamburger or hotdog style?

{Same art.}
Rat: Comics we like . . .
Pig: I like Norm MacDonald.
Rat: What?
Pig: He's a comic I like.
Rat: Okay . . .
Pig: I've been saving up for years to see him on tour.
Rat: I have bad news for you.
Pig: Oh no, did he sell the restaurant to that Carl Jr. guy?

{Same art.}
Rat: I have TV to veg out in front of, so let's wrap this up.
Pig: We've failed to be funny yet again.
Rat: I guess I do understand myself a bit better now.
Pig: Progress is good.
Rat: Well, let's turn it back over to the readers.
Pig: I can't wait to see what they come up with!
{The following panel is written in two different fonts of childish lettering.}
Pig: i like poo

The author writes:

I'm not sure how Pearls this actually is. It may not be possible for me to write a broken Fourth Wall comic without some Triangle and Robert slipping in there.

Original Pearls Before Swine strip: 2021-12-16.