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Episode 1.24: This Side of Paradise


News: Oops! This episode wasn't supposed to appear until next week after my vacation break, but I messed up my update code and it got posted a week early! My apologies for bringing you new comics faster than announced!

An odd thing in this episode is that when Kirk is alone on the Enterprise after all his crew has left for the planet, he dismisses the possibility of leaving to go get help from another planet, stating that he can't operate the ship by himself. One would assume the captain would have training in handling the helm station, from where Sulu essentially flies the ship single-handed. The only conclusion I can make from this is that it's essential to also have a Scottish engineer babying the engines the entire time the ship is underway, or else they'll fall apart.


Captain's log, Stardate 3417.3. Four years ago colonists landed on Omicron Ceti 3, not knowing it was bombarded with deadly Berthold rays. We're here to remove the bodies.
McCoy: We can survive a week down there before we die.
Kirk: Allons-y!
Sandoval: Hi, I'm Elias Sandoval, leader of this Space Amish colony!
Sulu: Could he actually be dead?
Caption: Actual line!
McCoy: Dunno. It might make a more interesting story.
Sulu: The Captain told us to look for anything unusual? I don't know anything about farms or plants.
Kelowitz: Wasn't botany your hobby a while back?
Caption: Obvious weird alien plant.
Leila: Smell this pretty flower, Mr Spock.
Flower: puff!
Spock: Leila! I love you!
Kirk: {into communicator} Spock, where are you?
Spock: {over communicator} Not telling.
Kirk: I'm going to find Spock. I don't want anybody left alone down here.
McCoy: You mean... besides me?!
Kirk: Spock, what in blazes...?
Spock: I'm having fun, Jim! I love Leila!
McCoy: Yeah, Jim boy, lighten up. Have a mint julep! We've sent flowers up to the Enterprise.
Captains log. All crew have deserted the ship, so I beamed up alone.
Kirk: Who am I going to deliver my Patrick Stewart speech to now?
Caption: Ignores weird alien plant on bridge
Flower: puff!
Kirk: Oooh... Paradise. I'll go down and join everyone else.
Kirk: No... I'm so sad to leave the Enterprise! My strong emotions have overcome the spores!
Kirk: That's it, I'll get Spock angry!
Kirk: Mr Spock, can you come up and help me pack some equipment? As we all know, nobody can beam up once the ship is deserted.
Spock: {over communicator} Certainly, Jim.
Kirk: Spock! Yo mama was a human and yo father smelt of sweesonberries!
Spock: My mother was a teacher...
Kirk: Yo mama's so human she has actual emotions!
Spock: That does it!
Spock: Anger... It has destroyed the spores. I no longer love Leila.
Kirk: Yes. Let's rig up an emotion projector and flood the planet with aggression to solve all its problems!
Sandoval: The spores made us happy but we achieved nothing! We must leave and start a new colony elsewhere.
Spock: Yes, highly logical.
Kirk: All's well that end's well!
{Leila is distraught}

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