The proleptic webcomic.

Bombs in ATMs

The convenience store across the road from my work installed an ATM. Within 48 hours, it had been ram-raided.

This got us thinking. How could you prevent ram-raiding? Solution: Install bombs in ATMs! With vibration-sensitive detonators. Someone tries to ram-raid that sucker… KABLOOEY! They ain’t getting away with any money.

Which reminded us of old-fashioned pinball machines. They had tilt sensors in them to detect when you were trying to jiggle the machine to make the ball do certain things to your advantage. They had a certain threshold level – you could bump the machine a little bit, but if you went over the threshold it would register a tilt and you’d lose your ball.

You could make pinball machines more exciting by installing bombs in them too! Bump the machine a little, you’re okay. But go too far… KABLOOEY! You ain’t tilting a pinball machine again.

But back to ATMs. This might actually work, you know. If you install vibration-sensitive bombs in ATMs, and advertise the fact, what thief in their right mind will even attempt to ram-raid an ATM? Nobody will actually get blown up because nobody will even try to steal one. Brilliant!

Just don’t mention earthquakes, okay?

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