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Episode 3.20: The Way to Eden

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This is certainly the grooviest episode of Star Trek. Presumably somebody, somewhere, at some time, thought that must have been a good idea.

Transcript

1
{a Hollywood boardroom}
Producer's log, Earth date: August, 1968. Ratings are down. We need to attract a younger viewer demographic.
Producer: Any ideas?
2
Assistant: I know! We explore counter culture by having a group of space hippies reject technology and authority. They seek a Utopian paradise planet, named Eden.
3
{Enterprise transporter room}
Assistant: {voice-over} We have them use far out, hip slang.
Adam: The captain is Herbert, but I reach the Vulcan, brother.
4
{corridor}
Assistant: {voice-over} We give the young Davy Jones lookalike crew member a romantic interest.
Chekov: Irina!
Irina: Pavel, it is good to see you.
5
{rec room}
Assistant: {voice-over} We have groovy musical numbers that get the whole crew toe-tapping.
Adam: {singing} Headin' out to Eden. Yea, brother. Headin' out to Eden. Yea, brother.
6
Adam: {singing while Spock plays Vulcan lyre} No more trouble in my body or my mind. Gonna live like a king on whatever I find. Eat all the fruit and throw away the rind.
7
{the Hollywood boardroom}
Producer: But we can't be giving the subversive message that bucking authority is acceptable!
Assistant: No problem.
8
{sick bay}
Assistant: {voice-over} We paint the leader as clearly insane.
McCoy: You're a carrier of a rare PLAGUE! You're a danger to everyone around you!
Sevrin: I reject your so-called "reality" and substitute my own!
9
{corridor}
Assistant: {voice-over} We have Chekov reject temptation and stick to regulation-quoting military discipline.
Irina: Pavel, join us.
Chekov: Starfleet regulations say I cannot!
10
{the planet Eden}
Assistant: {voice-over} And we have the paradise world turn out to be a fatal illusion.
{Sevrin and Adam eating space fruit}
Caption: Eats the rind.
11
McCoy: They're dead, Jim. Eden is nothing but a twisted lie.
Kirk: Young people these days... They should listen to their parents.
Caption: His name was Adam. The forbidden fruit killed him.
12
{the Hollywood boardroom}
Producer: Brilliant! This episode will save the third season!


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