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<     Episode 3.15: Let That Be Your Last Battlefield     >

Episode 3.15: Let That Be Your Last Battlefield

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There was so much potential here for stuff to riff on. I wrote another panel of dialogue playing up the Bele as Inspector Javert angle more, but had to cut it for space. And I really wanted to work in a whole subplot based on The Sneetches, but again, there was no space. At least I got Dr Seuss in where it really counted.

This is simultaneously one of the most ridiculous and one of the most powerful Star Trek episodes.

Transcript

1
Captain's log, Stardate 5730.2. En route to disinfect the planet Ariannus. Yes, the entire planet.
McCoy: PLAGUE!
2
Sulu: We've intercepted a shuttlecraft stolen from Starbase 4. One crew member.
Kirk: Some thief in the night, some dog on the run.
3
{sick bay}
Kirk: We're a racially integrated enlightened society, so let's spend 5 minutes talking about nothing but his weird skin colour.
McCoy: It's weird.
4
Lokai: I am Lokai, from Cheron.
Kirk: Cheron? That's in an uncharted quarter of the Galaxy.
Spock: So how do we know its—
Lokai: I claim political sanctuary!
5
{bridge}
Caption: Another alien magically appears!
Bele: I am Bele. Lokai is a fugitive, a traitor. You will turn him over to me and take us to Cheron.
Kirk: Yeah... no.
6
Bele: I have taken control of the ship, we are going to Cheron.
Kirk: Release the ship or I'll blow it up!
Bele: You bluff.
7
Kirk: Computer, this is Captain Kirk. Initiate destruct sequence. Code: "password".
Computer: Destruct sequence initiated. 30... 29... 28...
8
Bele: Fine! Go save your plague planet first.
McCoy: PLAGUE!
Kirk: Computer, abort destruct. Code: "123".
Computer: Destruct aborted.
Bele: But I've hunted him across 50,000 years. I will not give up.
9
Lokai: His people oppress mine into slavery!
Bele: Your people are dogs fit for nothing better!
Lokai: They butter their bread on the top!!
Bele: They butter theirs on the bottom!!
10
Kirk: Why do you hate each other so much? You're the same!
Bele: No, Lokai is white on the right side and black on the left. I am black on the right and white on the left!
Caption: BOMBSHELL!
11
Spock: Cheron. It is a radioactive wasteland, destroyed by a war of racial hatred.
Bele: Noooo!
Lokai: Noooo!
12
Uhura: They've beamed down, sir.
Kirk: Leave them. Hate is all they have left.
SFX: Clang! {Kirk drops an anvil}


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