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Episode 2.9: Metamorphosis


I didn't have enough space to riff on the statement by Kirk that "male and female are universal constants". I guess nobody in the Star Trek universe has heard of asexual reproduction.

Yet. Wait until we get to the tribbles...

Also, yes, this is supposed to be the same Zefram Cochrane seen in the film Star Trek: First Contact. The official Star Trek continuity states that Cochrane was born in the 2030s, and the events of First Contact took place in 2063, making Cochrane about 30 in that movie. Except he was portrayed by 56-year-old actor James Cromwell. The official canon explanation for the obvious discrepancy in his apparent age in that movie is that he was actually about 30 years old, but looked older because of radiation poisoning!


Captain's log, Stardate 3219.8. Taking Commissioner Nancy Hedford to Enterprise for treatment for Sakuro's disease.
Spock: Captain, a weird energy blob.
Kirk: I've never seen anything like it before.
Spock: Yes, unlike any of the other weird energy blobs we've encountered before.
Caption: Stranded!
Spock: We cannot take off. Tricorder indicates some sort of damping field. No power systems work.
McCoy: Like your tricorder?
Cochrane: I'm Zefram Cochrane.
Kirk: Inventor of warp drive? He died 150 years ago!
Spock: Lost in space, Captain. The body was never found.
Kirk: And he was an old drunk guy!
Cochrane: I was marooned. The weird energy blob rejuvenated me. I call it the Companion.
McCoy: I don't suppose it'll let us go if we give you salt tablets?
McCoy: Jim, if we don't get Commissioner Hedford to the Enterprise soon, she'll die!
Kirk: I'm working on it.
McCoy: I can't do my PLAGUE medicine here!
Kirk: We must destroy the Companion to escape from this planet.
Cochrane: It helped me! And it's the last of its kind!
Kirk: Destroy!
Spock: This device will scramble the Companion's every electrical impulse. It cannot fail.
Caption: It fails!
McCoy: Aaargh!
Kirk: Aaargh!
Cochrane: Companion! Leave them alone!
Spock: Oops.
Kirk: Well, killing it didn't work. Let's talk to it with our translator.
Cochrane: How does it work?
Kirk: It keys into universal technobabble, understood instinctively by all life forms.
Caption: It's a piece of pipe!
Kirk: Companion! Why are you keeping us here?
Companion: {heart} To keep the man company. {heart}
McCoy: It's female! The Companion loves him! WooOOoo!
Commissioner Hedford: How romantic...
McCoy: Commissioner! You shouldn't be up! PLAGUE!
Commissioner Hedford: Companion, merge with my failing body...
Companion: Yes, this will cure you.
Caption: It does!
Commissioner Hedford: Now we can love properly. And you may leave, Captain.
Kirk: All's well that ends well!
Spock: Except the planetary war that Commissioner Hedford was supposed to stop.
Kirk: Ehh...

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