Planet of Hats


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Episode 1.16: The Galileo Seven


Again, this is a very busy episode, with more good material than I could squeeze into 12 panels. Commissioner Ferris is my pick for the most smarmy and annoying Federation official character in all of The Original Series. While in many episodes the fist-fighting is completely gratuitous, this is one episode which would actually have been improved if Kirk had ripped his shirt off and engaged in fisticuffs with Commissioner Ferris.

It's tricky telling if the spear point looks more like a Folsom point or Clovis point - this is the sort of thing geeky archaeologist Star Trek fans probably argue over. I can say, however, that the prop spears from this episode can be seen in the Blackwater Draw Museum in New Mexico, very close to the actual Clovis archaeological site, where they have been proudly on display since soon after this episode was made.


Captain's log, Stardate 2821.5. En route to Makus 3 with medical supplies, overseen by Commissioner Ferris. Stopping to investigate Murasaki 312, a quasar a billion times smaller than normal and within our own galaxy.
Ferris: We have to be at Makus 3 in five days to transfer the drugs.
Kirk: It's three days away, we have plenty of time.
Kirk: Launch shuttlecraft for three hour tour... I mean astronomical survey.
McCoy: Why am I assigned to an astronomy mission? I'm a doctor, not an-
Spock: It was either this or leave you alone with the plague medicine.
McCoy: Oooh...
Caption: The space weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed:
Boma: Ionisation increasing! We're being sucked into the quasar!
Scotty: Violatin' laws o' physics! That's as good as any plague!
McCoy: Bah!
Spock: We're stranded on this handy planet with a breathable atmosphere. The Enterprise will never find us unless we reach orbit.
Scotty: We've lost fuel. We'll have to shed 500 pounds.
Spock: Hmm. Three people.
Mears: I only weigh 120!
Spock: Latimer, Gaetano, stand guard outside while Mr Scott repairs the shuttle.
Latimer: Guard against what?
Spock: The humanoid aliens who almost certainly inhabit this planet. Have you not taken basic space biology?
Caption: Latimer is speared in the back by humanoid aliens!
Latimer: Aaargh!!
Caption: Eerie fog!
Spock: Folsom point. Similar to spear points discovered in 1925, old world calendar, New Mexico.
Boma: Seriously?
Spock: Am I in error, Mr Boma?
Boma: Yeah, it looks more like a Clovis point to me.
Spock: Mr Gaetano, stand guard here in this indefensible position surrounded by lots of ambush cover, from which Latimer was killed without warning.
Boma: Seeya, buddy.
Scotty: I've drained power from the phasers and we've lightened our load enough we only need to leave two men behind.
Spock: Most fortunate. Mr Gaetano won't be joining us. Take off, Mr Scott.
Spock: Enterprise will have left for the rendezvous already.
SFX: klik
Scotty: You jettisoned our fuel and ignited it!
McCoy: But it was electricity from the phasers…
Sulu: A flare on the planet, sir!
Kirk: Turn around, beam them aboard!
Ferris: We'll miss the rendezvous. Millions of plague victims will die!
Kirk: Do I need to rip my shirt and punch you?

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