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Table Tennis to Australian Rules Football

  1. Add 17 more players on each side!
  2. Remove the net, and the centre dividing line. You can hit the ball from anywhere, and may attempt to obstruct your opponents.
  3. You may even stand on the table.
  4. You only get a point if the ball goes out of your opponent's end of the table. If the ball is hit out a side of the table, no point is scored and the umpire throws the ball back into play.
  5. Rather than serve to start play after a point is scored, the umpire bounces the ball in the middle of the table and both teams of players may try to hit it first.
  6. You may catch the ball and move around with it! You can't throw it though. To put it back into play, you need to toss it lightly and hit it with your paddle.
  7. Add a bonus point area in the middle of each player's end of the table, marked by goal posts. Hitting the ball through there is worth six points. (You still get one point for hitting it out your opponent's end, outside the goals.)
  8. You may tackle any opponent who is holding the ball! If you are tackled, you must release the ball immediately.
  9. Actually, remove the paddles. You must hit the ball with part of your body. To get the six points, you need to kick the ball through the goals with your foot.
  10. If you catch the ball after a player (from either team) has kicked it, before it bounces on the table, you may kick it immediately and opposing players may not interfere with you.
  11. Make the table round instead of rectangular, and add posts to mark the boundaries of the one-point-scoring areas.
  12. Put grass on the table.
  13. Make the table bigger. Much bigger!