Mezzacotta Cinematique
Chins in Black and White
Betty White, Debra Winger, Val Kilmer, Elizabeth Olsen.
The epic conclusion to the Ancestor of Buenos Aires cycle.
G , 82 mins
A barracks-dweller gives a box to a reviled shepherd and complains about a savvy waitress.
An Acolyte Goes to Jamaica
Starring Lily Tomlin, Burt Reynolds.
With Renee Zellweger in a typically sleazy role.
Directed by Ivan Reitman.
PG , 84 mins
The daughter of a vampire surprisingly steals a beehive from three vigilantes, who ironically are stalked by themselves.
The Tarantulas Are Coming
Paris Hilton.
The latest film in Richard Linklater's Seven Priests series.
MA (avoidable occasional scenes and nunchuks) , 122 mins
A gladiator attends a room opening held by a ditzy cranky plumber who cooks gamblers.
Crimson Hatred: Retribution
Starring Clive Owen, Rosanna Arquette.
With additional vocal contributions by Robert De Niro.
A Baz Luhrmann film.
M (drug use and obvious blood) , 147 mins
A jazzy phone scammer and a chav are in a race against time to stop the outbreak of the deadly raven pandemic as told by this independent retrospective.
Sit on the Ballet Dancers
Michelle Pfeiffer, Colin Firth.
With the talents of a specially trained penguin.
Written and directed by Clive Barker.
G , 135 mins
A group of Irish dragons combine the powers of the Eyepatch of the Ring with the God of Communist Wonder in this violent comedy.
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