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No. 3259:

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Translated from ancient Sumerian by: The Thinker

The author writes:

So by taking the train to Birmingham (New St.) from Crewe, you can avoid the messy business of attempting two additional changeovers at Stafford and Tamworth, respectively. However, the downside of all this is that no matter what route you select, you're still going to Burton-on-Trent*.

* This mini story-arc is totally not based on the real-life travels of this particular author.