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No. 104: George R.R. Martin's house words: The Winds of Winter is Coming. Eventually.

George R.R. Martin's house words: The Winds of Winter is Coming. Eventually.

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Strip by: Ian Boreham

caption: My suggestions for updates to the house crests and words for the great houses in Game of Thrones:

{The House Stark crest: a grey direwolf on a white field. The direwolf's eye has been changed to a comic-style "dead" cross.}
words: Winter is Coming - but I won't be around to see it...

{The House Tully crest: a silver fish on a wavy field of sky blue and mud red. The fish is upside down and has a cross for an eye.}
words: Family Duty Honor. It's just a pity that the family involves the Starks...

{The House Lannister crest: A golden lion on a red field. The lion has many gold chains around its neck, and is shouting "Gold!".}
words: Hear Me Roar! Mostly about gold

{The House Greyjoy crest: A gold kraken on a black field.}
words: We Do Not Sow. We just steal from people who do the actual work. It's got nothing to do with sewing, or female pigs. We do not sow. We kraken.

{The House Targaryen crest: A red three-headed dragon on a black field. Two of the dragon's heads have their necks entwined, and they are French kissing (in-universe, that would be The Reach kissing, I suppose).}
words: Fire and Blood - and Incest

{The House Baratheon crest: A stag with a crown around its neck. The stag has a cartoony, anthropomorphised face.}
words: Ours is the Furry

The author writes:

More GoT! Does this guy think about nothing else?!

I'm glad the crest descriptions in GoT are basically in plain English instead of the ridiculous language of traditional heraldry. It would be annoying to have to read that the Lannister crest is "A lion or rampant on a field gules", or the Greyjoy crest is "a tentackled sea creatyre or on a field sable that proclaimeth "We Soweth Not!'". OK, maybe I overdid the second one.

Drawn in Inkscape. This was supposed to be relatively quick to do. I thought I'd draw it in Inkscape since it's more vectory than painty. But I forgot how fiddly drawing complex vector shapes can be. It was still probably quicker than using Krita, though, since text is not well supported in Krita.