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Episode 2.22: By Any Other Name

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This is actually a pretty decent episode. It's good to see that even though food in the future is entirely made of coloured cubes of jelly, they still know how to have a proper drinking session.

Transcript

1
Captain's log, Stardate 4657.5. Responding to distress call.
Kirk: I'm Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise.
Rojan: I am Rojan of Kelva.
Kelinda: I am Kelinda.
Rojan: Your ship is ours.
2
Rojan: Behold our paralysis field!
Caption: {pointing at Yeoman in background} Yeoman Thompson. Don't blink or you'll miss her.
3
Rojan: Behold, we turn your Yeoman into a cuboctahedron and crush her to dust!
Kirk: Omnipotent godlike aliens. I hate these guys.
Caption: Told you.
4
{in a cell}
Kirk: Spock, can you pull out another never-before-seen Vulcan power?
Spock: Will self-trance do?
Kirk: Perfect!
5
McCoy: Spock is dying! He needs to get back to the Enterprise.
Rojan: Very well, beam up.
Kirk: {fist pump} Yes!
6
Rojan: We will take your ship to our galaxy, to report that your galaxy is ripe for conquest. Let's go.
Kirk: Wait, we're all beaming up now anyway??
7
{on the Enterprise}
Scotty: They've hijacked the ship, but I've rigged a self-destruct, to save our galaxy.
Kirk: What's the third option?
Scotty: No other option.
Kirk: Surely there must be a seducing option.
8
McCoy: Try our delicious primary coloured jelly cubes. The epitome of Earth cuisine.
Tomar: Mmm!!
Caption: Tomar, another Kelvan.
9
Spock: The Kelvans have taken human form; they are not used to our senses.
Kirk: So we overload their senses! If I seduce them enough, I could get Kelinda's paralysis device!
10
Caption: Scotty gets Tomar drunk; Kirk seduces Kelinda:
11
{bridge}
Rojan: I am jealous!
Kirk: You're more human than Kelvan now! Share our galaxy peacefully with us.
Kelinda: Yes, let's. {foot bent up}
Rojan: Okay.
Kirk: Yay!
12
Kirk: Oh, could you restore Uhura? Teaching her English from scratch once was bad enough, even without her being a cuboctahedron.


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Last updated: Wednesday, 27 May, 2015; 03:11:10 PDT.
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