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Episode 1.5: The Enemy Within

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There's some fine acting in this episode. Acting like there's nothing they can do to save Sulu from freezing to death on the planet below, for one. He even explicitly mentions beaming down some hot coffee, which the crew just seems to ignore.

I suppose if it got duplicated it might split into a decaf skinny latte and a double espresso.

Transcript

1
Captain's log, Stardate 1672.1. Specimen-gathering mission on planet Alfa 177.
Fisher: Let me beam up with this weird magnetic ore on my uniform.
2
Caption: Causing a transporter accident! Kirk is split into hammy and extra hammy versions!
3
Hammy Kirk: Let me just change my shirt for no reason.
4
Extra Hammy Kirk: Brandy! Women!
Yeoman Rand: Captain!!
SFX: Scratch!
Extra Hammy Kirk: Emmy!
5
Yeoman Rand: The captain attacked me!
Scotty: And this pink unicorn dog got duplicated by the transporter. One nice, one nasty.
6
Spock: The only logical answer is a nasty duplicate of you.
Hammy Kirk: I'll announce it to the crew.
Spock: You can't. You'll look weak.
Hammy Kirk: You're right, what was I thinking?
7
Hammy Kirk: All crew: This is the captain. My strong, decisive half has been split from me and is running amok. Capture him. I think.
8
Sulu: Still freezing to death down here.
Hammy Kirk: Can't we help them?
Spock: Heaters beamed down duplicated and won't work.
Sulu: Blankets?
Spock: Shhh, we're thinking up here.
9
Scotty: I can't fix the transporter in less than a week.
Hammy Kirk: Sulu's dead then.
Scotty: Give me five minutes.
Sulu: Shuttlecraft?
Scotty: Shh, working!
10
Extra Hammy Kirk: I'm Captain Kirk! I'm Captain Kirk!
SFX: Neck pinch!
11
Spock: We'll recombine you in the transporter.
McCoy: It's too risky!
Hammy Kirk: I'm too indecisive to decide.
Spock: Do you want me to decide?
Hammy Kirk: No, I'll do it.
12
Extra Hammy Kirk: I'm scared!!
Hammy Kirk: Here, hold my hand. It's going to be all right. You need me. And I need you.
Extra Hammy Kirk: Two Emmies! Ah ha ha haa!


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Last updated: Wednesday, 07 May, 2014; 03:11:01 PDT.
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