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No. 835: Samantha is challenged

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Samantha is challenged

First | Previous | 2019-05-03 | Next | Latest

Strip by: Sloublues

Ambassador for Biskittia: Your mother was an electrician!
Ambassador for Gravee: Oh yeah? Well, your "freshly-baked" muffins smell like cinnamon!
Samantha: What's wrong with that?
Ambassador for Biskittia: They're cranberry.
Samantha: Oh. Well, it seems I've arrived just in time. Nice hats, by the way, very helpful.
Ambassadors: Thank you.
Samantha: I am the arbiter from the United Nations, and I mean to prevent war. Let's hear your cases.
Caption: TEN HOURS LATER
Samantha: I feel we are making excellent progress.
Samantha: Let's break for lunch, and then I'll hear Gravee's side of things.
Caption: TWELVE HOURS LATER
Samantha: Very well. I congratulate both of you on very articulate, meticulous arguments for your respective positions.
Ambassadors: Thank you.
Samantha: Unfortunately I think they're both a bunch of hooey, and what it comes down to is that neither of your countries likes the other much.
Ambassador for Biskittia: Yep.
Ambassador for Gravee: You nailed it.
Samantha: I think sporks are much more spoon-like, so I rule that all countries shall tax sporks as spoons henceforth. Whoever the forks side was, you are of course welcome to appeal the decision in the form of a duel.
Ambassador for Gravee: Then a duel it shall be!
Samantha: As the challenged, it is my honor to choose the weapons. We shall duel in the ancient Japanese tradition!
Ambassador for Biskittia: Gasp!
Ambassador for Gravee: A haiku duél? / No quarter will I give you. / Gravee shall prevail!
Ambassador for Biskittia: What have we done?! I never actually wanted anyone to get hurt...

The author writes:

Samantha's take-charge attitude looked like it was paying off — but then things turned violent! Will she come to regret her brashness? Will civilization collapse over plastic utensils? Stay tuned!