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No. 834: Samantha is recruited

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Samantha is recruited

First | Previous | 2019-04-17 | Next | Latest

Strip by: Sloublues

Oliver: I am impressed by your ability to turn minimal resources into success. Perhaps you can assist me with a problem.
Oliver: As you may know, I am Secretary General of the United Nations.
Samantha: No duh.
Oliver: The nations of Biskittia and Gravee are on the edge of war because Gravee plans to treat sporks as forks for the purpose of tariffs, and, as you may know, Biskittia's main export is sporks.
Oliver: Unless Gravee agrees to treat sporks as spoons -
Samantha: - Biskittia will go to war against Gravee, long story short Central Europe's economy tanks, the rest of Europe follows, before you know it the whole world is back to bartering chickens for butter.
Oliver: How do you know all this?! We've kept it top-secret for fear of causing widespread panic!
Samantha; I watch the Top Secret News Channel just like any other concerned citizen.
Samantha: Duh.
Oliver: There's a - never mind. I want you to mediate this dispute. The UN were completely caught off guard by this emergency. The last time anyone from either nation did anything the least bit violent was when a Gravee duke performed the Heimlich maneuver on Curlicue IV.
Oliver: We've barely paid attention to either country in years. I have no briefing to give you. All we know for sure is that the Prime Minister of Biskittia likes ketchup on his chicken pot pie.
Samantha; Will there be prestige and riches if I succeed?
Oliver: I can offer my daughter's high school tennis trophy and a bag of chocolate coins in foil.
Samantha: I'll take the case.

The author writes:

The company making Sam's "spring" water collapsed in disgrace and the UN Undersecretary For Preventing Armed Conflict (Central Europe division) resigned in disgrace. There wasn't anywhere to put that in the last couple of strips, but it happened.

Oh, and for context, Sweden is up to Curlicue #12 by now. You may think that's a silly name for a king, but we've had nine Popes named Boniface so I don't think we get to point fingers.