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No. 235: Earth Now - The Unadulterated News

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Earth Now - The Unadulterated News

First | Previous | 2010-05-10 | Next | Latest

Strip by: manyhills

{a news desk}
Background scenery: Earth Now
Samantha: {a newsreader} ... if you've just joined us, we'll have more on the SS Daisy Bell, which struck an iceberg with the loss of all hands, when we get it. For now, sportsdesk.
Ticker bar: -REAKING NEWS - Nuclear reactor accident in Wolverhampton -
Oliver: Liverpool are hovering dangerously close to the relegation zone after yesterday's disaster at the Stadium of Light. Can this proud port town avoid being sent to Davy Jones's Locker?
Voice in earpiece: Yeah, skip that item.
Oliver: er... Manchester United's title hopes were sunk yesterday after Bolton blew them out of the water...
Voice in earpiece: Next...
Oliver: And chaos at Aston Villa after John Carew threatens to jump sh- leave. We ask, is this a case of rats leaving a sinking shi-
Voice in earpiece: OK, you know what, kill sport. Cut to the human interest reel in three, two...
Holly: Good evening! Spring is well and truly in the air, so I'm here at Leicester Market asking: which type of lettuce is best?
Voice in earpiece: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The author writes:

The punchline to the ticker bar is, of course, "does £2.50 worth of damage".

Sorry, Wolverhampton.