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No. 330: Garfield Minus Garfield Minus Jon

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Garfield Minus Garfield Minus Jon

First | Previous | 2019-05-09 | Next | Latest

Strip by: ncrecc

Caption: I found out I was dying.
{Jon is standing across from Liz. There is a table between them}
Caption: I'd spent my whole life loafing around in a hedonistic haze.
{Jon is walking through a city at night}
Caption: So I decided to have the highlights of an ideal human life in my final days.
{Jon is holding up what hopefully looks like a clenched fist}
Caption: I tossed small flightless birds in a ballpit.
{Jon is holding his hands out in front of a ballpit filled with small chicks}
Caption: I had every man's sexual fantasy.
{Jon is in front of a zoo, wearing sunglasses, and handing money to another man with sunglasses}
Jon: 50 bucks and I get to stud with a tigress.
Man: Done.
Jon: How much for two tigresses?
Caption: I put a ball of red fluff on the floor.
{Jon is visibly overjoyed by a ball of red fluff on the floor}
Caption: When I died, it occurred to me that I had no sense of my own mortality, perhaps no sense of my own existence. This led to a profound realization.
{Jon is standing in a featureless orange room}
Jon: Why, I... I was in heaven all along.

The author writes:

With the removal of Garfield, this comic is shifted from Jon seeking to make the last days of Garfield's life the best he can to Jon going out in a hedonistic thrill rush. Of course, none of the activities Jon is involved with have been modified very much, which makes Jon look like a depraved, easily excitable lunatic. Jon even admits at the end that he may or may not know whether he even exists.

Original strips: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal 2011-08-04, 2011-08-18.