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No. 3489: Garfield Plus The Minecraft Joke Book

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Garfield Plus The Minecraft Joke Book

First | Previous | 2018-12-07 | Next | Latest

Strip by: Camwoodstock

{strip 1}
Garfield: Stay tuned for more me
{Garfield sinks down}
Garfield: Kaboom
{strip 2}
Flea: Hi, cat
Garfield: Hi, flea
Flea: Just wanted to stop by and say Merry Christmas before I take off
Garfield: Where to?
Flea: Kaboom
{strip 3}
Mouse: We need a fourth for bridge
Garfield: Okay, but this time we use MY cards
Garfield: Kaboom
{strip 4}
SFX: Slam!
Jon: That gift-wrapping girl down at the mall sure was cute
Garfield: Did you talk to her?
{cue Jon's head wrapped like a present}
Garfield: Kaboom
{strip 5}
Narrator: After years of taking life for granted, Garfield is shaken by a horrifying vision of the inevitable process called "Time"
Narrator: He has only one weapon...
Narrator: Denial...
Garfield: I don't want to be alone
Jon: Want some dinner, Garfield?
Jon: Who needs it? I need you!
Narrator: Kaboom [END]
{strip 6}
{Garfield walks to a sign that says "BEWARE OF DOOG"}
{Garfield looks on unamused}
Dog: Do you know how much I saved on that sign?
Garfield: Kaboom
{strip 7}
Jon: Let me have a dab of mustard
{Garfield SCRONCHes the bottle}
SFX: SPLOIT!
Garfield: Kaboom

The author writes:

For those not in the know, there is an unofficial Minecraft joke book, which is famous, or rather, infamous, as it's widely considered one of the least funny joke books of all time, if not one of the worst books of all time, period.

I was inspired partially by the Soothouse video on it, plus a chat with my friend Autumn/EsmeMarion/whatever she's calling herself bleh, where the video noted that a lot of the punchlines were just "kaboom". While chatting, we came up with the idea of just taking random jokes and applying this nonsensical "kaboom" punchline to the end of every joke. I then subjected Garfield to this, after asking her how bad an idea this would be. You can see the results.

The scary thing is, it actually kinda works for some of them...? I was also about to put in a Pudding Pops strip variant, but I wasn't about to let this glorious mistake be put into the world's longest buffer, so I refrained.

Now if you excuse me, I'm off to invent a time machine to go back in time to the first instance of the "why did the chicken cross the road" joke, make its punchline kaboom, and we can all go full-circle.

Original strips: 2016-02-23, 2001-12-22, 2001-04-07, 1998-12-08, 1989-10-28, 2011-08-13, 1991-02-07, with letters from 2005-07-30 and 2005-08-01.