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No. 2777: Christmas at Ground Zero

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Christmas at Ground Zero

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Strip by: Cody

Caption: It's Christmas at ground zero
{Garfield spies a target painted on the wall}
Caption: There's music in the air
{Jon is whistling a tune}
Caption: The sleigh bells are ringing
{Garfield rings a bell}
SFX: RING RING RING
Caption: And the carolers are singing
Garfield: {listening to the radio} Ah, the first Christmas carol of the season.
Caption: While the air raid sirens blare
Garfield: {holding an air horn} That got his attention.
Caption: It's Christmas at ground zero
{a giant Santa Claus balloon is inflating behind Jon}
Caption: The button has been pressed
{Garfield rings a doorbell}
SFX: DING DONG
Caption: The radio just let us know
{Garfield and Jon are listening to the radio}
Caption: That this is not a test
{Garfield watching TV}
TV: This is not a test.
Caption: Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin' / It's the end of all humanity
{something's about to drop on top of Garfield}
Caption: No more time for last minute shoppin' / It's time to face your final destiny
{Jon and Garfield are standing in the middle of a mall parking lot}
Caption: Well, it's Christmas at ground zero
{The inflatable Santa has grown to its full size}
Caption: There's panic in the crowd
{Garfield and Jon are panicking}
Caption: We can dodge debris while we trim the tree.
{Jon's Christmas tree is attacking him}
Jon: ARRRRGH!
SFX: WHIRRRR
Caption: Underneath a mushroom cloud
{a cloud has formed above Garfield}
Caption: You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
{Reindeer are pulling Santa's sleigh high in the sky}
Caption: Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
{a crowd of snowman are peeking at Jon and Liz}
Caption: But if someone's climbin' down your chimney
{Santa is climbing down Jon's chimney}
Santa: Ho-Ho-Ho
SFX: Whump!
Caption: You better load your gun and shoot to kill
Garfield: {wearing a bandit mask and holding a banana like a pistol} Stick 'em up
Caption: Oh, it's Christmas at ground zero
{the inflatable Santa is attacking Jon}
Caption: And if the radiation level's okay
{Garfield has melted from too much radiation}
Caption: I'll go out with you and see all the new / Mutations on New Year's Day
{Jon and Garfield have mutated into hideous monsters}
Caption: It's Christmas at ground zero
{target homes in on Jon's house}
Caption: Just seconds left to go
Garfield: Ten. . . nine. . .
Caption: I'll duck and cover with my yuletide lover / Underneath the mistletoe
{Jon and Garfield accidentally kiss each other underneath the mistletoe, Liz ducks out of the way}
Caption: It's Christmas at ground zero
Garfield: Eight. . . seven. . .
Caption: Now the missiles are on their way
{Garfield peeks out the door as the target homes in on him}
Caption: What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked / On this jolly holiday
Garfield: Six. . . five. . .
Caption: What a crazy fluke we're gonna nuked / On this jolly holiday
Garfield: Four. . . three. . . two. . . one. . .
{target locked on Garfield}
{KA-BOOM!}

The author writes:

As a sequel to my earlier Hardware Store comic, I've taken panels from a total of 23 Garfield comics and captioned them with all the lyrics to "Weird Al" Yankovic's Christmas at Ground Zero.

Original strips: 2001-10-23, 1994-12-04, 2015-11-10, 2005-12-02, 2006-03-22, 2012-12-09, 1991-02-10, 2013-12-22, 2005-06-07, 2002-07-15, 2007-12-15, 2011-05-15, 1986-12-21, 2012-12-23, 1983-12-24, 2013-01-27, 1978-12-24, 1995-02-26, 2003-01-26, 1988-04-24, 1997-09-28, 2000-12-31, 2012-12-14.