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No. 2241: The Naming of Cats

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The Naming of Cats

First | Previous | 2015-07-08 | Next | Latest

Strip by: DanielBT, Cody

Caption: The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
Jon: {off-panel} Hey, Fleabag! Come here!
Garfield: Then again, "Garfield" does have a nice ring to it.
Caption: It isn't just one of your holiday games;
Jon: Christmas Eve everyone would gather around the tree and sing carols.
Caption: You may think at first I'm as a hatter
{Garfield is wearing a tall hat}
Jon: Garfield, that's a silly hat.
Caption: When I tell you a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
Jon: Embellished our name, did we?
Garfield: Fill 'er up!
Food dish: Garfield Horatio III, Esq.
Caption: First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Garfield: {looking at a letter} Hey, wait a minute! This is addressed to "Occupant."
Caption: Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James, / Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
Jon: I'm changing your name to Roscoe!
Garfield: Claw time.
Caption: All of them sensible everyday names.
Caption: There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Garfield: Wealthy philanthropist, J. Worthington III was found face down in his tomato soup.
Caption: Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Arlene: My name's Arlene.
Caption: Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
Caption: But all of them sensible everyday names.
Jon: I should have named you "Thursday."
Garfield: That's "Mr." Thursday to you.
Caption: But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's peculiar,
{Jon pours a bag of cat food into a giant bowl labelled "Garfield"}
Caption: A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Garfield: {scratching his belly and shedding} We have too much dignity.
SFX: scratch scratch
Caption: Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
{a cat with a crooked tail comes toward Garfield}
Caption: Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
{Jon snickering}
Garfield: {covered in a mess} Salvage the pride, Garfield, salvage the pride.
Caption: Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, / Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
{Jon's hair is a mess, and his shirt is shredded}
Garfield: {in bed} Never touch "Mr. Grumpy" before noon.
Caption: Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum- / Names that never belong to more than one cat.
Caption: But above and beyond, there's still one name left over,
Jon: {looking through a book} I mean, I'm almost up to the "X's."
Garfield: Hey, there's always the yellow pages.
Caption: And that is the one name you will never guess.
Caption: The name that no human research can discover--
Jon: {off-panel} Ohhh! My cat!
Garfield: I used to have a name.
Caption: But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
Garfield: {wearing a false mustache} Watching me, you say?... Your cat named "Alonzo," you say?
Caption: When you notice a cat in profound meditation, / The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
Lyman: There was "Cat," "Cat," "Cat" and "Cat."
Jon: No names?
Caption: His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation / Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
Man on TV: Mr. Freegenweegenswallodribbenfraxenlaxenismabittle.
Caption: His ineffable effable / Effanineffable / Deep and inscrutable singular name.

The author writes:

Cody: There was a poem I remember reading in school once about cat names. After I figured out the name of the poem, I looked it up and realized that there was good potential for a submission. Since he's done numerous strips with captioned panels before, I asked contributor DanielBT to help find suitable panels to use in this comic. He suggested all the original comics (except for 2008-02-18, that one was my addition), and I put the final comic together, making this our first ever collaboration. For anybody who wants to see the original poem, go here.

DanielBT: This was something of a fun challenge. I was asked for help finding relevant images for this poem and rose to the occasion, not having any of my recent strips show up for about a year now. My only regret is not being able to find any comics for the lines involving names, which would've involved themes such as Ancient Greece or It's a Wonderful Life, but without proper search parameters, let alone knowledge of later strips, I'd be completely out of my element. Chances are, those panels would've been longer and taken up more space, ruining the overall look and flow of the comic, so it's probably just as well they were left out. That said, if anybody's interested in doing any innovative collaborations with me in any other projects, feel free to drop a line to the moderator, as I don't want to waste precious brain cells or computer security over joining another forum with another password I'll need to memorize.

Original strips: 1984-11-12, 1997-12-24, 1990-05-12, 1990-03-16, 1986-01-04, 2013-11-14, 1985-11-16, 1980-12-18, 2003-07-03, 1990-01-27, 2007-03-09, 1981-07-04, 1984-02-05, 1988-10-17, 2003-07-10, 2006-07-01, 2008-12-05, 1980-08-24 2008-02-18, 2005-07-22.